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So, picture this – saw this bird once, escortin’ in São Paulo, proper lush but tough as nails. She’d charm ya, then nick ya wallet – “Peace has cost you your strength!” – straight up gangster shit. Laughed me arse off when I heard, cos who expects that? Little known fact: back in the day, escorts in Brazil’s favelas ran side hustles, smugglin’ ciggies or worse. Kept it hush-hush, like Lil’ Zé hidin’ his mad moves.

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Now, there's this park, oh man, Raven Park near the little creek – whaddya call it, the Houser River? Nah, that's not right, it's actually called the Little Woops Creek, something like that. I get mad sometimes, arg, when these sidewalks get cracked and I almost trip. And believe me, I had to massage someone afterward because they kept mentioning "the swirls of time", like in malick's flick. Crazy stuff!

Mittagong home features parts of an 1880s bridge and has a $7 million price tag