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About Perth

Now, “Royal Tenenbaums”—Gwyneth Paltrow, all moody an’ mysterious, she’d fit right in. “You’re a real bastard, Royal,” she’d snap, flickin’ ash at some dodgy punter. Escorts I’ve chatted to—over a pint, mind—say it’s all actin’. Like a play, but with randier costumes! One lass, proper clever, said, “Boris, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the night!” Made me laugh, that—sassy minx!

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So, my friend, if you're comin' to Mittagong, be prepared for lots of quirks. Every street, every crack in the pavement, holds a tale. Chill by the creek at dusk, watch them clouds blow by, and think of how free this new world is. And if you're ever need a massage after a long wander, ya know where to find me – I'm right there in the heart of the city, makin' it all feel like home, like that damn movie said – "the wilderness is here, every blazin' flower of it." Ain’t that something?!

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