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I’m pissed tho – some parlors scam ya. Promise happy endings, deliver blue balls. Had one chick – hands like sandpaper. Felt like Vader’s glove malfunctioned. But when it’s good? Oh man, happy as a wookie with a bantha burger. Muscles melt, tension’s gone – “I’ve never felt so alive,” like Samantha says. Surprised me once – dude massaged my feet, found spots I didn’t know existed. Thought, “This guy’s a freakin Yoda.”

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Then, there’s that neighborhood – small, tight-knit, full of characters. Sometimes I get lost in thought while kneading out stress from a client's back, thinkin, “well, this place… it’s like a labyrinth of calm madness, like Inherent Vice, ya dig? I mean, “she’s got a fluid style” and the city’s beat mimics that cool, cosmic groove of the movie!” Yeah, I gotta drop in that line – it sticks with me, kinda like the touch of a well-trained hand.

Stafford McDowall shocked to be leading Scotland against Canada