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About Newcastle

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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Oh, and the parks… Oi! Shadow Park near Cooper Lane is insane – wild, unkempt, bursting with life and odd little surprises around every corner. I once found myself literally chuckling in the park when a couple of local birds tried to mimic the chatter of passing gibberish – like, are they in on a joke? I dunno, but it was mad funny.

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