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We looooves a laugh, though! Mate o’ mine, big lad, swears by them apps. “Gollum, it’s bangin’!” he says, braggin’ ‘bout shaggin’ three birds a week. Bollocks, I reckon—prolly wankin’ to pixels. Reminds me o’ Tyrone, “We got a winner!”—nah, mate, you’re losin’. Me, I’d rather cobble shoes than swipe for a snog. Apps promise heaven, deliver hell—sick o’ seein’ “DTF?” pop up. We hates it! All rushin’ for a quickie, no soul, no nothin’.

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And hey, I gotta mention that magical river, the Limin. It flows lazily like a lullaby to your bones, a perfect spot to chill and muse about life's little twists. I once had a full-blown epiphany working on a tight massage schedule right by its banks. Sorta like when the band in "Almost Famous" had one of their wild nights – unforgettable and loud. Totally insane, right?

Driver killed in high speed crash in Kurunjang, near Melton