Leah Kew Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Melbourne

So I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *The Turin Horse*, my fave flick—Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, geniuses, total geniuses—and it’s all bleak, right? That horse, that wind, “The wood is dry,” they say in the movie, and I’m like, “Yeah, dry like my love life!” But whores? They ain’t dry, nah, they’re out there, makin’ it happen, rain or shine. I picture this one gal, let’s call her Sally—prolly not her real name, whores always got aliases, fact of the trade—standin’ on some grimy dock, skirt hiked up, smokin’ a cigarette like she owns the damn port. And I’m like, “Good for you, Sally! Pretty, pretty good hustle!” But also—kinda grosses me out! All those sweaty sailors, me included—ugh, the hygiene, the STENCH. Makes me wanna shower just thinkin’ bout it.

The Hookers of Kew

Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker (30 June – 10 December ) was a British botanist and explorer in the 19th century. He was a founder of geographical botany.

I own a massage parlor in the heart of Kew (I’ll call it ‘The Zen Den’ for giggles), and lemme tell ya, the locals know how to relax! Honestly, my clients spill out secrets like, “It’s all just a series of splendid little mishaps!” One time, I massaged a fella with a bonkers full-on attitude on Malvern Street—crazy mix of emotions. Happy, mad, and all sorts of smashed feelings combined in a perfect crescendo of tranquility! hehe

This corner milk bar is now a destination cafe with added Bontempelli magic