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About Melbourne

Little-known fact—did ya know sex-dating’s been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae,” prostitutes in wolf dens, basically OG sex-daters. Wild, right? Imagine swipin’ on a clay tablet—hella slow. Nowadays, it’s all fast—bam, match, bang, ghost. I tried it once, met this dude who said he’s “kinky but shy.” Shy my ass—he brought handcuffs AND a PowerPoint on knot-tying! Surprised me, yo—thought I’d die laughin’. “Spectacular, spectacular!”—that’s what I yelled, straight outta *Moulin Rouge!*, while he’s tryna tie me up. Absurdity level 100.

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I watch sunsets at the Old Bridge over the river – quiet, inspiring, and rough-edged like me life. The sunsets, they make me think “maybe I should swallow me pride for once,” like those edgy moments in that movie. Look, I left, you know, a raw, poignant piece of my soul right there.

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