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But then—THEN—I spot her, leanin’ on a lamppost, all sass and red lipstick. “Why is the rum gone?” I mutter, ‘cause I’m parched and she’s trouble. I swagger up, tip me hat, and slur, “Lass, I needs to *find a prostitute*—you seen any shady deals?” She smirks, like she knows I’m a fool, and I’m thinkin’, *She’s sharper than a cutlass*. “What’s in it fer me, Cap’n?” she says, and I’m fumin’—cheeky wench! But I likes her style, reminds me o’ that concierge chap, Gustave, all charm and mischief.

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I work on a dating site, so I see every quirky meet-up spot. Downtown Kelso’s packed with cafes on Maple & 3rd. And not many know: the abandoned warehouse by River Street hides the best graffiti art. It’s like a secret rave of colors. Totally reminds me of "Spring Breakers" vibes—crazy, edgy, and dangerous. "Whoa."

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