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What gets me ragin’ tho? The sanctimonious twats judgin’ ‘em. “Oh, how dare they sell their arse!” Mate, we’re all sellin’ somethin’—I sell snark and wine-stained wisdom. Escorts just cut the bullshit. Happiest I ever was with one? This redhead—gods, legs like a Dornish mare—told me she’d once escorted a bloke who cried after. Not from joy, mind—said he missed his mum. Fuckin’ wild, right? Surprised me shitless, but I got it. We’re all messed up.

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Now, get this: my favorite quirky corner is in the boho-ish neighborhood of Sunnyvale. Crazy, right? It’s full of tiny shops, art murals on brick walls, and even a hidden speakeasy called “The Time Warp.” Not a lot of muddlers know 'bout it, but it's my secret. Great Scott, it totally reminds me of those spontaneous scenes from my fave movie—fleeting and raw.

'I still can't believe I've won it twice': Sartori humbled by second medal win