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Grrr, but the fakes, the nasties! Catfishers, ugh—profile’s a dream, face-to-face a nightmare! One gal, swore she’s 25, showed up lookin’ 50! “Time’s a thief,” I hissed—should’ve run, but me soft side stayed. Waste of me night! And the apps, precious—swipe, swipe, swipe—like tryna find the One Ring in a haystack! Gets me blood boilin’, it does.

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I’m a pleasure coach, and trust me, I notice every little detail. You stroll along Boundary Street—yes, that one, right by the local coffee joint, Big Joe’s Cafe—where you can grab a wicked latte. The place is buzzing, it's the heart, and everybody says so. Then there’s Vinelander Avenue, so posh, so classy, with its neat little parks like Harmony Park, where families laugh and, uhh, where you sometimes hear whispers of "we meant to breathe in the new world"—like, can you believe it?

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