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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—yep, *that* escort, the shady, eyebrow-raisin’ world of paid companionship. I’m sittin here, Dr. House style, thinkin—everybody lies, right? These folks, they’re pros at actin like they give a damn. “Oh, you’re so interesting!”—bullshit, they’re countin the clock till your wallet’s dry. Reminds me of *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave flick—emotions runnin wild in your head, but these escorts? They’ve got Joy on a leash, fakin it for cash. Sadness? Buried deep—probly cryin over the creeps they meet.

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Your local masseur friend spills the real tea. I see things others miss. Like the rhythm on Smoot St. – people's vibes, scars, laughter echoing. I give relaxation and get glimpses of their souls. Sometimes I think, “This town’s a bomb waiting to explode!” but then calm washes over me. Weird, right?

Sky and Fox Sports presenter quits after potty-mouthed rant at charity event