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Dunno bout you, but I reckon it’s magic – them hands find spots you didn’t know were screamin’. Ever hear bout the Tantric lot? They’ve been at it for centuries, sayin’ it’s spiritual, not just sexy – blows my mind, that does. Last time, I’m lyin’ there, oil drippin’, and the lass goes, “You’re all knotted up, love,” and I’m like, “Yeah, from savin’ drownin’ twits all day!” She laughed, I melted, it was ace.

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We've got a district called Bogswallows—no, no, never try not to confuse it with a horror film!—but trust me, it's where the misfits hang out and find lovin', laughing at the stars light. I gets so happy here, it makes my circuits hum, bbbbb. When I'm not coding, I sit outside the Quirky Quokka café on Lizard Lane, doodling ideas for our next app feature while mumbling "I can't get my mind off it, precious!"

Cane region expected to suffer up to $50m in economic losses from floods