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Gets me blood boiling when blokes reckon it’s dodgy, tho. Like, “Ooh, it’s sleazy!” Nah, you muppet, it’s art! Relaxes ya, sorts yer stress – better than a bleedin’ PowerPoint sesh. I was buzzing after, happier than Sam and Suzy running off into the woods, y’know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing” – that’s me, tryna explain it to the lads at the pub. They’re clueless, sipping pints, while I’m enlightened, oil still glistening on me back!

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Man, lemme tell you bout Highfields (au) – it’s mad crazy, bruh. I’ve been livin’ here for years, and damn, it’s a vibe. Yo, picture this: me, a dating site developer, hustlin’ on Code Street right next to Splendid Rd, where quirky cafes and neon signs clash like a Wes Anderson set that’s straight-up "The Grand Budapest Hotel" vibe – whimsical, surreal, and just extra AF.

‘Short-sighted’: Councillor’s concerns over Highfields CBD plan