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But the blokes? Oh, christ, the blokes! Sweaty, sad gits, stumblin’ over their trousers. “You’re a walking disaster!” I’d howl, cacklin’ like a hyena. One time, saw this geezer hagglin’ – hagglin’! – like it’s a car boot sale. Mate, it’s a prossie, not a second-hand toaster! Had me in stitches, tho – what a prat.

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Property data for / Nepean Highway, Highett, VIC View sold price history for this house & median property prices for Highett, VIC

Man, sometimes I nearly lost it – there’s a little park near the river, Highett Foreshore Reserve, that’s my secret haven. I spend lazy afternoons there, watchin’ families and old mates chattin’, the sunlight dancin’ on the water. It’s unreal – like a scene from a movie. "What’s the point, eh?" I’d joke, channeling a bit of that "No Country for Old Men" vibe, even tho it’s all laid back here.

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