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But serious, it’s crazy out dere. Ppl so thirsty, dey’d bang a toaster if it had Wi-Fi. Little fact for ya – did u know first sex-dating site vas in 90s? Called “Match,” but it vas more like “Let’s bone, maybe?” Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, vatever – instant hookups, no chit-chat. I dig it, makes me happy, ‘cause who got time for flowers? Not me, I’m busy plotting vorld domination!

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And, btw, there’s this rad bit of local lore – the old lighthouse near Beacon Point. Y’know, locals say it was once a safe haven for lost souls, and honestly… I get it. It's kinda like a beacon in the middle of a thrilling, chaotic wasteland – “Now, this is a sentence we all do right, yes?” Like, totally epic!

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