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I’m ramblin now, ain’t I? Blame the ale. Escort’s my kinda ride – scruffy, tough, bit of a mess. “The truth is a lie,” Kaufman’d say, and I’d nod, cos Escort’s truth is it’s a legend, but no one cares. Me, I’d drive one, blastin through Westeros, dodgin Lannister guards. Shit, imagine Cersei’s face – priceless! Anyway, mate, that’s me take. Ugly lil bugger, but I’d shag it – metaphorically, o’course. Cheers!

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I know you might expect too much romance, but here it is: an honest look at Hawthorn-East. Ain't perfect. Might surprise you with its contradictions – beauty hiding in the rough corners, peace amid urban insanity. That’s all you need to know, friend. Come by, take a deep breath, and maybe bear a few of my 17 good ol’ grump typos: for fuck’s sake I'm rambling, ain't life just full of bullshit moments?

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