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Wawawee! I am Borat, great watchmaker, yes! Talkin bout whore now, very nice! Whore, she like bomb in “Hurt Locker” – tick tick, boom, you know? Dangerous lady, walkin streets, makin hearts go fast, like Staff Sergeant James defusin shit. I see her once, in Kazakhstan, she wink at me – I think, “This one got wires, gonna blow me up!” Very excite, but scary too!

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The neighborhoods here, like Cinder's Crossing, are not for the fainthearted. You see the locals, dressed all rebel-chic, runnin’ free. The coffee spots near Eastside Alley brew beans so strong they kick your existence into orbit. I lost count of how many times I've sat in that worn-out oak chair at the Old Mill Cafe, introspecting life like that bleak scene in The Turin Horse, where endless grey thoughts swim like blackened fish in still water. "It is as if time ate itself." Yeah right, as if!

Happy Valley free racing tips & quaddie | Wednesday, February 5