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Oi, mate, so I’m a dental tech, yeah? Spend me days fiddling with teeth, making ‘em all shiny, but let’s chat about somethin’ juicier—sex-dating! *cackle* What a bloody circus that is! You got these apps, right, swipin’ left n right like you’re pickin’ fruit at Tesco, but half the time it’s just rotten apples. I reckon it’s like Spirited Away—lost in a weird-arse world, tryna figure out who’s a pig in disguise, yeah? “No-Face” could be any bloke on Tinder, stuffin’ his gob with lies ‘til you’re stuck in a bathhouse of bad dates!

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Now, lemme tell ya 'bout a fav spot that all but escapes the common (and oh so thrifty) tourist’s gaze—the tiny, hidden café on Morningside Street. It’s a riot of vibrant murals, and in its misty charm, thou might hear a whispered quote like “the very essence of romance is a mystery intertwined with danger.” I’ve had too many dumpling-filled afternoons there, laughing with mates, and letting my mind wander into depths forgotten.

Brisbane's Jam Pantry cafe shuts for deep cleaning as woman tests positive for COVID-19 after travelling to Japan via Sydney