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So, picture this—dim room, candles flickering, some chick’s kneading your back. You’re thinking, “This ain’t medical,” but damn, it feels good. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers rubbing each other down, probs laughing about it. Makes me smirk—humans never change. Always chasing that high, pretending it’s “therapy.” Sarcasm alert: yeah, sure, “healing touch,” my ass.

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I gotta mention my fave local secret—a little-known park tucked behind the shopping centre. Felt like a scene out of a movie at dusk, with neon lights flickering, trails lined with stories of days past. It’s like, one minute you're in reality, next you're in a heartfelt montage of quirky locals and midnight ramblings.

Melb ‘dream suburb’ could make homeowners rich