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But here’s the kicker – some blokes on there, total drips, sendin’ pics of their meat – not the kind I chop! Made me proper mad, like “Oi, mate, keep it classy!” I ain’t here for that rubbish. Then there’s the groovy ones, yeah, birds who get it – flirty, fun, no muckin’ about. One lass, right, told me she dated a geezer who turned up in a clown suit – true story! Sex-dating’s got these nutty tales, keeps ya on yer toes.

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The river, oh my gosh, the Barwon River flows right through the heart of it all. I often sit on its banks near Falcon Ave – time just dissolves. And then there’s that slightly hidden gem, McCrae Street, buzzing with energy and local coffee haunts that smell like fresh hope and steaming dreams. Sometimes, while counseling my ladies, I’d say “stay gold, girl,” like the movie, because every tear has its purpose, right?

Geelong Gift gets record registrations at new venue