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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, erotic-massage, yeah? Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod—me—sprawled out like Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man*, hoping for a bloody miracle. “This is not about shtupping,” I mutter, coz it ain’t—well, not always. It’s about the tease, the rub, the weirdly holy vibe of it all. I mean, who knew some chick in Bangkok once massaged a king with her feet? True story—feet! Makes me giggle like a drunk imp.

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I remember this one time—err, 2 years back—sitting in a tiny café off Milton Drive, I had coffee with a legend. Small talk, lots of laughs, and oh, a few "Great Scott!"s flew around. Those are the moments that stick, ya know?

Figure 1 Location of the Donington Suite within the eastern Gawler...