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This one time, I went undercover—swear to God, signed up myself. Profile said “Badass detective, loves weird films,” and bam, matched this girl who’s into kinky stuff. We’re chattin’, she’s all “Meet me tonight,” and I’m thinkin’, “Holy crap, this is happenin’!” Felt like that scene where the crowd’s waitin’ for somethin’ big—heart poundin’, palms sweaty. But then she ghosts me! Total letdown—like, “Everything’s turned upside down,” ya feel me? Wasted my damn night.

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Some days, I get mad ‘cause the local council doesn’t fix the cracked pavement on Riverbend Way quick enough. Ridiculous, eh? But then, I see a couple laughing in front of the Gadget House on Elm Alley – a quirky little tech store turned coffee hut – and it makes me happy.

Arana Hills: Brisbane's undiscovered suburb in the Moreton Bay Region