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About Melbourne

Like, literally, oh my gawd, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m totes channeling my inner Kim K here, duh, and I’m thinking about *Boyhood*, my fave movie ever—Richard Linklater, 2014, ugh, so good. Like, “It’s like I’m watching my life,” ya know? Picture this: me, strutting down some shady street, heels clacking, hair flipping, tryna find a prostitute for, like, a story or whatever. I’m all, “This is my moment,” like Mason in the movie, growing up fast, right?

Ferntree Gully

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Heyyy, buddy!! So, lemme tell ya 'bout Ferntree-Gully—it’s wicked, like, totally off the hook! Ruh-roh! I'm a sexologist here and, like, my work kinda shows ya the real vibes of the streets. So, check it: there's Church Street, ya know, right in the thick of things. It’s busy, full of cool cafés, tiny boutiques… and like, secret nooks perfect for steamy chat sesh stories!

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