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Weird story – heard ‘bout this prossie in Vegas, dressed as Elvis, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Genius! I’d hire her just for the vibe – “You’re a king, dahling!” Makes me wanna design her a sequined jumpsuit – no capes, obvi! Oh, and don’t get me started on the creeps hagglin’ prices – “Fifty bucks? For THAT?!” Like, respect the craft, you cheapskate Pagoda stabbin’ the budget!

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The local markets near Kingston Street are mad fun too. I sometimes just stroll past munchin' on a cheeky snack while thinkin' 'bout life. Cuz, innit, massaging tells ya all sorts of secrets – what wrks, wha don’t, and why people be stressed like they're stuck in a gangsta flick. "Is it 'cos I is black?" – yeh, sometimes it's just weird life, bruv. The vibes shift like clouds; one minute you're chillin', the next a bloke in a suit bursts out, mad in his head about traffic.

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