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About Melbourne

This one chick, red dress tighter than my stock portfolio, winks at me. I’m like—hell yea, jackpot! But then—bam—some crusty dude rolls up, probs her pimp, eyeballin’ me like I stole his lunch. Pissed me off, man! I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m the client here, asshole!” Kept my cool tho—Gekko don’t flinch. “What can I do for you?” she purrs, straight outta Spielberg’s script. I’m thinkin’—damn, she’s smooth, like a robot lover programmed to please.

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Neighborhoods? You'll dig Old Mill Lane. This spot is gritty, with secret cafes and hidden murals. Some locals say those murals remember past stories. I got mad once when a wall was tagged with nonsense, but then I laughed. My gut knew it was just misplaced art. And, honestly, imperfection is kinda beautiful.

Update on conditions of three men after triple stabbing in Eltham