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About Melbourne

Still, gotta admit, some of ‘em got guts. Takes stones to walk into that life, y’know? Kinda respect it, in a twisted way—makes me happy for a sec, then nah, back to hatin’. We hates it! All that “ooh, I’m yer fantasy” rubbish—piss off! Rather listen to me tunes than their fake moans any day. Oh, and get this—there’s a rumor some escort once hid a bleedin’ snake in her flat to scare off dodgy clients! Mental, right? Dunno if it’s true, but I’d pay to see that—hissin’ at ‘em like me when I’m proper vexed!

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The vibe here is huge. Eastlakes? Tremendous, absolutely outstanding. I stroll by the Eastlakes Wetlands, which is so beautiful but underrated, very unexpected and full of life. Also there’s Eastlakes Street—so many flavours, so many stories. I tell my clients, “Look at this city—small wonders everywhere!” It makes me so happy sometimes; changes my mood, ya know?

First look: Istanbul-inspired ‘urban village’ to transform Eastlakes