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Alright, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin’—sex-datin’ is a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, cashierin’ at this dingy ol’ store, ringin’ up condoms and cheap wine, thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” People out here swipin’ right, lookin’ for a quick hookup, and I’m like, damn, it’s Dogville all over again! You got folks playin’ games, hidin’ who they really are—just like Grace in that movie, y’know? “I’m not that kinda girl,” they say, but next thing ya know, they’re shackin’ up faster than a jackrabbit on a date!

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Speed Dating Perth | In-Person | Cityswoon | Ages Fri, 28 Mar, pm. Subiaco Hotel, Henry's Loft & Rooftop. From $

I work as a relaxation specialist, so I pick up on tiny vibes. Often, the warm hues of sunset on Victoria Lane spark meditative thoughts – "the universe is in constant motion, yet our hearts can find stillness." I'd say sometimes I get so mesmerized I almost levitate, haha! There’s also Solace Square – honestly, a perfect tiny haven where locals whisper secrets about the hidden charm of our urban soul. Sometimes I get angry when noisy tourists disturb the zen, but then I chill thinking, "Why so serious, man?"

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