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About Melbourne

So, I’m cruisin’ down the block, right? Lookin’ for some action—not for me, mind you, I’m too saved for that! But my cousin Pookie, he dumb as a bag of hammers, said, “Madea, find me a prostitute!” I said, “Boy, you gon’ catch somethin’ penicillin can’t fix!” But he begged, so I rolled my eyes and peeled out. Halleluyer!

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The river—oh man, the Shining Creek—cuts neat through the town like a silver knife. It chills your bones in winter, warms you up in summer. I used to jog beside it; fuck, sometimes thoughts hit like a freight train. My brain would flip like those scenes in Grand Budapest when they say, "We must maintain the decorum!" Only in Dunlop, you know, every moment’s a quirks parade.

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