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Lemme tell ya, I got thoughts—deep ones. First time I saw a pro do it, I was like, “Well, I’ll be damned.” Hands movin’ like they’re carvin’ a masterpiece, slow and teasin’, buildin’ up that heat. Got me happy as hell—pure magic, like watchin’ Brad Pitt scalp a fool, but softer, y’know? Then there’s the oil—lordy, they use stuff like ylang-ylang, smells so sexy it’s borderline unfair. Fun fact: that flower’s banned in some places ‘cause it’s *too* seductive. Too seductive! Can ya believe that shit? Pissed me off—let folks enjoy somethin’ for once!

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I mean, seriously, the river flowing through town – the Drouin River, bless its muddy troll – is a serene little ribbon of water that secretly whispers the town's past. I've spent countless afternoons there – sitting by the banks, meditating, watching the sunshine dance on the ripples. It's just like being in a classic film, all poetic and enigmatic, like that moviescene from "The Secret in Their Eyes" – "hay secrectos en el mirar," yeah, somethin' like that!

NHL Buzz: Drouin to return for Avalanche on Tuesday