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So, check this—met this lass online, profile all sexy-like, curves for days. Thought, “Ooh, tasty, my precious!” But bam—catfish! Total letdown, made me mad as hell. Felt like Grace, y’know, used and spat out. “They’re all dogs,” I hissed. Ain’t that the truth? Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate.

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The parks? Man, there's a green hug at Wattle Parkington (yeah, I might bungle the name a bit, but it's my fav spot, right?) where I grab my morning cuppa and watch the river, the Wicker, flow by. It’s sometimes like a line in that film, a whisper of secrets swirling in the ripples. And I gotta mention Graydon Street – the cafes there buzz, just like my app's notifications when love blooms. Crazy how we connect souls, sort of like a cosmic cosmic jackpot!

Police investigate ‘terrifying’ attempted abduction of 11-year-old girl