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But then, ugh, this greasy sod stumbles over, reekin’ of ale, tryin’ to haggle her down. Made me angry, that did—cheap bastard! I’m thinkin’, “I choose violence,” coz I’d smack him silly, but nah, I just glare, cold disdain and all. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, prossies had guilds—proper unions! Swear down, they’d fine ya for bad service. Wish they’d bring that back, keep these twats in line.

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Now, I'm a relaxation specialist, so I’m all about that zen, okay? I get my daily dose of mindfulness at the serene Cremorne Point Park. The views? TOTALLY breathtaking! You see the harbour, fancy yachts and all that jazz. It's like looking at a WALL-E miracle – seriously, "EVE, I've just found something incredible!" And hey, holler "You get a car!" like Oprah would – cuz this place gives you a ride of joy on a silver platter every single day!

First Look: Get Coffee With a Side of Live Music at Cremorne’s On Air