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About Melbourne

Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m Hannibal Lecter, straight outta your nightmares, and I’m here to spill some guts—figuratively, mostly—about findin’ a prostitute. Ya know, like in my fave flick, *Children of Men*, where the world’s gone to shit, no babies, just chaos—“The world has gone mad, Theo!”—and folks are scrabblin’ for any kinda comfort. Me? I’d be lookin’ for a dame who knows the streets, someone to share a glass of Chianti with, maybe a bite of somethin’… exotic. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, sizin’ her up, wonderin’ if she’s got the guts to match mine.

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Oh, and the parks! Freshfield Park’s my secret haven. I love kicking back under big trees (aka relaxation central). There’s even a hidden mural on Birch Lane. Good luck finding it if you're not watchin’ out. It’s like, “There’s your opportunity!” And trust me, I’ve been known for clever finds around here, LOL.

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