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About Perth

Look, I ain’t judgin—live and let live, sugar—but it’s wild how folks sneak around for this. Web’s full of coded ads now, “roses” for cash, blah blah. Bores me stiff! Gimme a gal with guts, struttin like she owns the night. “A shadow moves, unstoppable”—that’s her, sashayin past the creeps. Makes me happy, seein that sass. But the slimeballs leerin? Ugh, makes me wanna slap somebody! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d purr at her, not them.

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Cootamundra’s got some real character spots that I cherish: there’s a little coffee joint on Baker Street where the espresso will knock yer socks off, and a hidden sex shop off Victoria Road, if ya catch my drift, that gives me ideas for my career. Listen, I'm a sexologist, I see stuff others don’t, ya know? I catch the subtle glances, the whispered nuances. The town’s energy? It's like every corner holds a secret, a hidden passion, just waitin' to be explored (hey, I ain't no prude!).

The sitcom absurdity of the federal election battle