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So check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, ya dumbasses. I’m scrollin’ X, tryna peep profiles, see who’s out there slingin’ ass. Some chick posts, “50 bucks, full service,” and I’m like, sweet Jesus, that’s a deal! But then—bam!—her pic’s blurry, prolly a catfish, and I’m pissed! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell at the screen, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ my cash on some fake-ass hoe. Fun fact, tho—back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, like wearin’ red ribbons meant they was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some wild shit?

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I remember walkin’ down Main Street, and, no joke, I swear I saw a flash of somethin’ that made me mad – like someone defaced a mural that’d been there for ages. I got pissed, like Tony over a bad gabagool. But then, outta nowhere, a sweet old widow shows up, all smiles and soft words, remindin’ me that every scar has a story. “Decisiones, decisiones,” she said – damn if that wasn’t just like a scene from The Secret in Their Eyes!

US job growth slows marginally, unemployment steady