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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s got this sneaky little twist, y’know? Pretty, pretty good—except when it’s not! I mean, I saw “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” that Romanian flick—bleak as hell, right? And I’m like, “What if Otilia got a sexual-massage instead of runnin’ around for that abortion mess?” Coulda saved her some stress! “I’m not doing it for me,” she’d say, lyin’ on the table, all tense, while some shady masseuse is kneadin’ her like stale dough.

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Cooranbong’s got this insane mix of old charmin' history and modern alternative energy. Even in the local library at Main & Weirdo Lane (yeah, I know it's a weird intersection name) there’s vintage sex manuals kept safe like precious artifacts. That place fills me with that existential thrill, like "I’m not sure what to believe in anymore" vibe from the movie, you know?

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