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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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Now, little secret, bruv, you gotta hit up that dive bar on Tidal Lane near the mini harbor. They play tunes, and the vibe's electric, magical, like a tiny piece of the universe. I was floored once when I met a quirky artist there, raving about “the tree of life” – me, I just laughed, twisty, mad and joyous, precious, you see!

Swim safe: watch out for your mates