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I’m picturin’ it now—shady streets, neon buzzin’. You’re dodgin’ creeps, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted walls, like some X-rated art gallery. Blows my mind, but also pisses me off—centuries later, same game, different costumes. Everybody lies, though—client, hooker, even the damn pimp. “You’re my prince,” she purrs. Yeah, right, and I’m freakin’ Santa Claus.

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Ohhhh, my precious, you won't believe, eh? Coolum-Beach is, y'know, a wild mix of beauty and grit, yes, yes, precious! Me heart leaps when I sees it! Listen, listen… I gotta tell ya about this bonza town – it's like from, err… that movie, The Tree of Life, where nature and spirit dance, oh yes, my love!

Police crackdown on electric bikes and scooters at Coolum