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I’m ranting now—naturally—‘cause it’s me! Sexual-massage can be art, I swear. The way they move, it’s like choreography—slow, deliberate, teasin’. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is my G-d-given right!” Like Larry Gopnik in the movie, y’know? “I didn’t do anything!”—but I’m lovin’ every second. Once, this gal—pro, total pro—uses some hot stone trick. I’m meltin’, thinkin’, “I’m a king, a freakin’ king!” But then—ugh—she starts chattin’. Lady, no! Silence is golden, not your life story!

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Some minor quirks? Yes, definitely. The local diner on Miso Street – their hash browns are off the charts. And a random quirky thing: two blocks down is a mural of Einstein having an existential crisis – funny, huh? Speaking of crises, sometimes I think the whole city is wired like a circuit board, with each alley representing a different branch of the human experience. Absurd? Possibly—but that’s Clyde-North for ya!

Clyde North businesses slam government over easement blockade