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About Newcastle

Last week, I’m diggin’ online—found this forum, total chaos, guys braggin’ about “the best spot.” One dude’s like, “She showed up, smelled like tacos—five stars!” I’m DYING—tacos? Really? That’s the review? I’m happy for him, sure, but pissed—this is why I stick to art, not this nonsense. Surprised me, tho—some pros got profiles slicker than a Netflix series. Pics, bios, rates—$200 an hour? “Hashem doesn’t charge THAT much for salvation!” I mutter, Coen-style.

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Claremont’s got narrow lanes and wide smiles. King’s Avenue is prime – lots of posh cafes. Then there’s Sheridn Crescent (yeah, I know, misspelled on purpose – loooked more like Sheridn, innit?) where you bump into artsy types and sketchy exes.

Claremont incident: Man, 70s, dies after being hit by car in Stirling Highway Ultra Tune carpark