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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk sex-dating. Yeah, that wild world of swipin’, hookin’ up, and prayin’ you don’t catch feels—or worse. I’m an agronomist, sure, I know dirt, crops, seasons, but sex-dating? That’s a whole ‘nother soil to till, and I got thoughts, y’all. Picture this—me, leanin’ back, wise as hell, narratin’ this mess like it’s a Kim Ki-duk flick, my fave, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. That movie’s got layers, cycles, lust, and lessons—perfect for this convo.

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So, Christies-Beach is all chill, even if it sometimes pisses me off how crowded it gets on Main Street near the old boardwalk. There’s this crummy cafe on Penny Lane, where everyone hangs out. I’ve seen more weirdos there than in a Spirited Away bathhouse! Seriously, like “No-Face” come to life—but hey, that’s part of its charm, ya know?

Everybody facing Christies Beach Magistrates Court, Thursday, January 30