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Back in the day, you hadda work for it, take ‘em to dinner, gab about nothin’. Now? Shit, you match, you text “DTF?” and it’s on like Donkey Kong. I seen this one chick’s profile – says she’s into “spiritual connections,” but her pics? Tits out, ass up, like, what’s the deal, huh? “The sword remains elusive” – yeah, right, only thing elusive is her damn morals! Made me laugh, tho, fuckin’ hypocrites everywhere.

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Every day, I stroll past the creek on Riverbend Road. That place? Total hidden gem. The water’s all babbly and calming, reminding me of a better, peaceful world from Spirited Away... "I finally get a whirlpool!" kinda vibe, except, like, without the fanfare. And damn, those trees near Elm Circle are a riot of colors during sunset—almost magical, if you're into that sort of sentimental bull.

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