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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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Now let’s gab 'bout our favorite hangout: Old Oak Park. That oak tree is ancient, like it’s witnessed every drama in the history of the earth. I once had a crazy heart-to-heart with it. Gave me deep feels, almost poetic. Made me scream, “Halleluyer!” as I felt the spirit of freedom, like in that movie I adore.

‘Should not have been on shelf’: Woolies meat tray turns stomachs