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Oh, and get dis—Victorian times, rich ladies had escorts, but like, chaperones! No hanky-panky, just judgy old bats makin’ sure ya behave. Boring! Lightbulb! Dat’s where da modern escort flipped it—now it’s all danger or fun, no rules! Drives me nuts how it’s so hush-hush yet everywhere—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, ya!”

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I gotta tell ya, though, there’s stuff that makes me mad too – like, how the construction on Dappled Street blocks my favourite meditation spot by the Sera Park. Ugh, seriously! But then again, every corner has a silver lining. The park? Absolute heaven! A bunch of gum trees that dance in the breeze, little grassy knolls perfect for picnics (or impromptu daydream oases, if you will), and that gentle murmur of local chatter passing by. Even the kids on skateboards give it such a raw, real edge, ya know?

Factory fire sends smoke across Melbourne, intensifies dispute about ageing firefighting fleet