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Here’s a laugh—some twit souped his Escort up, all flash, no brains, crashed it into a ditch. “Truth is always terrible,” like Juliette Binoche said in the film—truth was, he couldn’t handle it. Me? I’d ride it proper, hair flyin’, screamin’ at peasants to move. Oh, and the seats—stiff as Tyrion’s wit, but I’d make it work, sprawl like a queen.

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There’s also the quirky side – small art galleries tucked in side streets like High Street. Yeah, I know about those bits too, they add a frickin’ soul to the neighbourhood. And the public transport? Ugh, nothing but a bloody circus at times. Trams on Chapel Street – jeez, adequate but sometimes you feel like you're stuck in a time warp with rinky-dink services.

First Look: The Rise of Sebby’s Scrolls Continues With the Opening of Its Caulfield South Takeaway Window