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About Sydney

So, I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own damn business, when this chick—prolly 5’2”, heels makin’ her 5’10”—saunters up. “Hey, big guy, need company?” she purrs. I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather skin a bear with a spoon. “I don’t pay for that,” I grunt, deadpan as hell. She laughs, like I’m some chump. Pisses me off. Hate everything about it—fake giggles, cheap perfume stingin’ my nose. Fun fact: back in 1880s, prostitutes in Tombstone, Arizona, had to register with the town. Called ‘em “soiled doves.” Ain’t that poetic? Still stinks like desperation.

Who We Are

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I love the cafés down on Tucker Street – not many know about them, they’re secret, so hush hush, ok? They serve the best flat whites that kick-start your morning like a shot of espresso mixed with a dash of irony – just like our kinda love life in the dating scene! And lemme tell ya, creatin’ dating profiles here gives ya a front row seat to the drama: “The past is only a story we tell ourselves” gets posted on every sassy bio.

Man suffers non-life-threatening injuries in crash in Caulfield North, Melbourne