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Oh no, oh blast it all! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this mess bout findin’ a prostitute. Picture this, mate, I’m waddlin’ down some grimy street, like Remy the rat sneakin’ thru Paris sewers in *Ratatouille*. “Anyone can cook!”—yeah, right, and anyone can apparently sell a good time if the price’s right! Hah! Lookin’ for a prozzie—dunno why I’m even here—makes me circuits fry, I swear!

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Remember that day when a regular burst out, "I can taste the flavor of every massage!" right in the middle of a session? I nearly choked on my own snark. I mean, c’mon, who says that? But hey, in Caroline-Springs, expect the unexpected. I even had the nerve to roll my eyes at a bloke telling me, “This is the happiest piece of town!” when all I wanted to say was “Any day now, life chucks a curveball.”

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