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Surprised me how many rules there are, tho. Unwritten stuff – don’t text too fast, don’t ghost, blah blah. I’m like, “Eat my shorts, I do what I want!” But nah, you gotta play it cool. One time, this chick told me she met a guy who showed up in a clown costume. A freakin’ clown! Sex-dating story of the century, right? Bet he thought, “I’ll be the lobby boy of her dreams!” Nope, she bolted!

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I dunno, personal quirks make me see these streets differently. My fingers feel every beat of these thoroughfares. Rarrgh! And yeah, there are 16-typo moments – well, like, my brain slips sometimes, like: “thsi is awesom”, “cant believe it” and so on, lol.

Forty-minute waits, 700-metre queues: Bus chaos causes long commutes in Sydney’s north