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About Brisbane

Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t just hookers with better heels. Nah, they got stories, man. One time, this broad told me she worked a gig for some Wall Street culo, dude paid her in stocks – stocks! Who does that? Fuckin’ surprised me, made me laugh, too. I was like, “What’s next, chica, you tradin’ on Nasdaq?” She smirked, said, “Maybe I am.” Smart as hell, these girls.

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The streets are a bit wonky, kinda like me after a long day of kneading out knots. I mean, every corner's got its quirks. Check it: there's a tiny café on Morton Lane that only opens till noon because the owner’s too busy philosophizing about life – thinking like he’s in some black-and-white movie. And trust me, as I rub folks down, I get front row seats to the drama of real life. Sometimes, I even joke, "Hey, motherf***er, life ain't no fairy tale, it's more like a damn thriller!"

Cairns Overnight Crime Wrap – February 7