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Still, it’s a circus, this sex-datin’—makes me wanna holler, “I’m gonna give you somethin’ you can’t take off!” like Aldo to them Nazis. Ever tried it, sugar? Half the time I’m laughin’, half I’m cryin’—like when some slick-talker ghosted me after I dolled up real nice. Thought, “Dolly, you dumb bunny, he ain’t worth a damn!” But next night, bam, found a sweetie who sang “Jolene” off-key just fer me—melted my heart like butter on biscuits.

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Now, lemme take ya to Parky McParkface (not really, but trust me, it's fab). There's this park called Suncrisp Gardens. I always sit by the little duck pond – they waddle around like they've got secrets – and I get lost in thought, thinkin' “If I could be my life in a metaphor, would it be a messy salad of emotions?” Hah, sounds like my job sometimes.

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