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About Melbourne

Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I freakin’ rule! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, y’know? Hustlin’ hard, makin’ cash, kinda like me in my dreams—total badassery! My fave movie, *The Wolf of Wall Street*, has that vibe, right? “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—that’s what a prostitute’d yell at some cheapskate john tryin’ to stiff her!

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I recall one wild night at Bentleigh’s Hidden Gem Café, ya know? I was doing my thing, givin’ out love advice, and bam! This couple's rendezvous broke the monotony—it was just electric, man! Like, "The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself." Cheers to personal growth, right? Never forget.

Bentleigh Greens win NPL Victoria title in dramatic penalty shoot-out